Chapter Fifty-Three

    Chapter Fifty-Three

    With the bed-rest that Chase enforced like a damn drill sergeant, I was able to carry the twins to thirty-eight weeks. We were laying in bed sleeping when I woke up at three in the morning because I got really uncomfortable. No matter how much wiggling I couldn't get settled. My stomach cramped and I tried walking around which woke Chase up.

    "What's wrong?" He asked and tried to get me to come to bed; I wasn't supposed to be doing anything.

    "I'm taking my half hour walk around the house." When I left the room in hopes he would sleep he followed me. As we sat on the couch the cramping got more persistent and more uncomfortable.

    "You should be laying down." Something didn't feel right through but it didn't' feel wrong either.

    "I think I'm in labor, but I don't know." There was an almost burning pain in my lower abdomen.

    "How do you not know?" He asked me confused.

    "How would I know; It's not like I've done this before. These don't feel the same as the Braxton Hicks." This was labor I think. It wasn't overly uncomfortable yet.

    "Well then lets go to the hospital. You're thirty-eight weeks, Brylee; it's probably time." Probably. Honestly, I thought I would be freaking out more but I knew how long this could take and the pain wasn't more than I've handled with menstrual cramps yet."

    "My back just hurts. If I lay on my side will you rub my lower back?" I asked but I knew he would; there was nothing he wouldn't do for me right now. My stomach was roughly the size of a small house.

    "Of course, Angel." He brought me to the bed and I laid down on my side. He rubbed at my back until the cramping became extremely painful. There was a pressure and it almost felt like a water balloon popped and the pressure dissipated.

    "I think my water broke." But I didn't know. In the movies it's all screaming and gushing water all over the place.

    "Are you sure?" The cramping made me cringe for a little bit and then it faded away. Yeah; I think I'm in labor. Chase looked at the phone when It rang and only then did we notice it was actually nine in the morning and he wasn't at work.

    "Answer it." If I was in labor then the best-rest could go to hell. I gestureed for him to answer as I paced around the room like doing that and holding my belly would magically make it stop.

    "Brylee may be in labor; we'll let you know." This was more anti-climatic than I thought it would be. Chase stayed in bed with me until noon and I used the mighty internet to look up what your water breaking is like and after using the bathroom I was not mostly sure I was in labor.

    "Shit." The cramps, they didn't last too long but when they did hit it made me nauseous.

    "Brylee, let me take you to the hospital. They can send you home if it's not time." Nine hours from the initial discomfort I let him take me to the hospital. This could be false labor for all we knew; Monica and Rochelle both went through it, but we grabbed the bags just in case.

    The drive to the hospital was even more uncomfortable at home, there was so much pressure on my cervix right now that the only relief I could get was reclining; even then it was minimal. When we got there they brought us back, put me in an awful hospital gown and I waited a few minute for a nurse to come in. They lifted the gown and came back up with an awkward smile.

    "Yeah; it's time. Have you been timing your contractions?" And that was the moment I completely freaked out.

    "Oh my god, no! Not too far though" Shit, I was already going to be a terrible mother. The nurse wasn't alarmed when I cried, she was sweet and sympathetic which just made me cry more. They hooked me up to something to time them and they were only six minutes apart. They told me how dilated I was but that meant nothing to me right now.

    "What does that mean for her? This is our first and I'm so sorry but we're still a little lost." This was the point I came to the hospital for other people. Before I came I had no idea what went on.

    "How long have you been in labor?" She asked

    "I think since about three this morning but I don't know. I just knew I wasn't comfortable and I had some cramping and it felt kind of like burning." She noted that while the other nurse brought our babies heartbeat up to monitor it. That would be very important. Once again they explained to me that if their heartbeat skyrocketed or dropped then they were in distress and we would be forced to have the surgery.

    At this point I didn't care, all that planning meant nothing because if my children's live was in jeopardy they better **ing cut me open and help them. Sure it wasn't as benefitial and it would mean more pain and recovery for me but their lives were obviously priority over everything; even mine.

    "I'm new to this so just in case something happens make sure they're okay." Even if they needed to cut into be before they numbs it. I doubt it would come to that, but I was serious. They allowed me to walk around as much as was comfortable and we called people to let them know that it could be anytime.

    Chase's parents were ready to leave work and come here but would wait until I actually started getting to the point to push. They knew that it took a while. Rochelle left work immediately to be here and Monica took the kids to her parent's house before heading over too. We tried to convince Riley to stay at work but he wasn't having that.

    "I'm not leaving my baby sister; I'm on the way now." And he hung up. He's done this twice for himself and once for Rochelle; I didn't want to pull him from work but I felt better that he was going to be here. My dad couldn't be here to help me, my mother couldn't be here to talk me through this but I had two mothers by my side and a father who's been through this.

    They were all I had and I knew that if I needed them, Chase's parents would be here by my side too. They were respecting my space and they would come in if I wanted them in. The thing about that was I don't think I was getting Rochelle, Monica or Riley to leave. This place was already going to be crowded and I didn't need two more.

    The next hour passed by slow; they took turns walking around with me so Chase could talk more with the doctor. The babies were in a perfect position for this but he was so **ing terrified that he would lose me. No matter how many times I told him I wasn't going anywhere there was the fear he was trying to keep away from me.

    But I had this good feeling about this; I had faith in the doctor and nurses and I would be fine, our babies will be fine. Riley said not to take it personal; he was the same way with Monica. It didn't matter how old you were; there was some level of fear.

    David and Linda showed up with my new little brother and David was able to calm Chase down a little bit and Linda walked with me. MY legs were loving all the walking I was allowed to do today.

    "Are you scared?" She asked and I nodded and looked down at my stomach. Today was the day that it would go away and I was sentimental. Today was the day I became a mother; that Chase became a father.

    "Yeah. I'm afraid of the pain, of the recovery. I'm scared that they'll go into distress and that I won't be able to give them the best birthing option for them. I'm worried about breastfeeding. I'm sad that I won't feel them anymore and terrified I'm not going to be a good mom." And I'm upset that I'll never have a photo of my parents with them.

    "You're going to be fine, honey. The doctors are ready if that happens and don't worry about birthing option because the best option will be that they're safe. You're going to be fine; I was afraid of the same thing and I raised a pretty wonderful son."

    "Yeah, you did." He was great.

    "Though he does have a lot to do with your parents too. You're a part of them and I know that you'll be the best mom you can be and that you'll be as wonderful as your mom was." She hugged me because she understood me, she loved me since I was five and she was another mom.

    This was a happy day; nothing needed to be sad.

    My contractions hit again and it was time to make my way back to the room for them to check on me. After that I got my epidural and it happened so fast from there. Chase and Rochelle held my hands as Riley stood by Chase and helped him help me. Monica talked me through this whole two baby thing. She wasn't as lucky as I was; Lina went into distress and they had to move her to the operating room.

    Luckily both my babies were strong and they were fine. They had kept me calm. Markus came out first and he screamed just fine. This was the part that sucked; waiting. It was only for a few minutes but I wanted to hold them already. They put Markus on my chest until my contractions started again and I needed to deliver again.

    We watched as they assessed him, suctioned and put eye drops in and he was so beautiful; it didn't matter that he was dirty and that he was covered in god knows what that I don't want to think about coming from my body; he was perfect.

    Maria waited six minute to make her way to the world and as soon as she was born she cried but she wasn't as loud. Instantly I had both babies on my chest and the bond was instant. They draped a blanket or something behind them and they were just there. Riley was crying, Monica was crying, Rochelle was **ing sobbing. Chase ran his hands over their tiny little bodies and kissed me.

    After all of that, eight and a half months of pregnancy, eighteen hours of labor and the pain; they were worth it. Everything was worth it. They were fussy and cried, which was fine. They kicked everyone but Chase and I out of the room. Maria and Markus instantly got I.D bands put on their ankles and we got ones with matching information. They clamped the umbilical cord and Chase cut them both.

    In the movies they took the babies and cleaned them before bringing them back; nope. They cleaned me up after I pushed the rest of the gross stuff out and as I held them until they quieted down. They tested to see how each baby was with breastfeeding; they ended up leaving Markus with me and taking Maria to get her cleaned up quickly.

    Markus wouldn't latch or anything but they had a nurse in with me telling me that was okay; this was to get him familiar with it. Chase sat next to me and the nursed helped him get her in his shirt and he held her skin to skin. She was fussy from being messed with but she actually calmed down when she felt her daddy against her. You don't truly know what love is until you see your husband holding your newborn child for the first time.His eyes turned sympathetic when I cried. For once it wasn't in fear, pain, worry or pain; it was overwhelming joy. My chest shook when I tried to stop the sobs and he shook his head.

    "Don't try to fight it; it's okay." He kissed my lips and the nurse game me our son.

    "Look at her." He leaned down and I looked at her tiny face and then at Markus's. His little nose and I stared at them trying to memorize their faces.

    The first hour was bouncing between babies to start this bond and Maria did a little better than Markus. If I wasn't holding a baby Chase was. I know Riley felt helpless the second time around because he was doing just what Chase was doing; bonding. I asked them to let Monica come in and she was someone who could try to make sense and help me. After we had our time and they were ready to nap, the nurses took them to get them to do everything that they needed to do that they hadn't done yet. They brought two little baskets in but I had a feeling they wouldn't see one of those for hours.

    We let people come in and hold them, but their time was limited so everyone could see them. We loved everyone but we wanted time to bond with them. Now I knew what Monica and Rochelle really went through. I was wearing a mom diaper my hair was a mess and I was covered in dried sweat and god knows what else; so damn attractive. They didn't make me feel that way but how could you not at the same time? When everyone went home after wishing us the best, taking pictures and kissing their little foreheads I felt bad that I was relieved. For the rest of the day it was the four of us and the army of nurses.

    One would come in every hour or two to see about feeding; there was a bored across from me with our names, the doctor and nurses name that would take care of us and how often they were feeding. My body was sore but I was allowed to change into my own robe and shorts.

    I had a small blanket for me and my favorite pillow. There was a lot of waiting and staring; we didn't much. Sometimes i would drift off for a little bit until it was time to feed again; Chase got more sleep than I did. Worth it, it was completely worth it.

    We allowed people to come to visit and i was starting early with this whole not being ashamed to breastfeed. They were aware that if they were in the room I would feed with them in the room; they could leave if they were uncomfortable. When they started latching I was thrilled and no one was going to take that from me.

    My brother didn't even care and I didn't care if he was here either. I was officially on the pro-breastfeeding in public movement and Chase would have an issue If someone wanted to argue about it. Monica faced it, Rochelle did too; I refused to be shamed for something so natural.

    Everytime I looked at them I still wanted to cry; Both of our brown-eyed brunette so far newborns were perfect. The decision on circumcision was Chases and he decided on yes so the next day the doctors took Markus and I tried not to cringe; he wouldn't remember it. Poor thing was fussy and it upset me seeing him upset.

    Chase and I stayed in the hospital for seven days; they were a little under-weight and we also wanted to make sure they were feeding and breathing fine before we left. Markus was almost healed which was also a perk; the thought of something getting infected at home made me sick.

    Monica and Rochelle talked about how much they despised the hospital stay but I liked it. I had nurses around to help me with them, I could ask a hundred questions and I knew that they were truly healthy after that week. Personally, I had healed and wasn't bleeding anymore thanks to the care my doctor had time to take as she massaged me open before I had them so I had minimal tearing.

    I was tired I was sore still and I was worried about taking them home but I knew that I would rather be tired holding my babies than rested without them. On our last day in the hospital Grandma and Grandpa came to see their first grandbabies with handmade blankets. They held them as we signed the paperwork.

    We got amazing photos while we were in the hospital and I'm glad we brought a camera. We brought baby books for their hand and footprints and as soon as we left the hospital we taped the bands in the book; we even got an extra for Chase and I to go in each book. The nurse made sure we had car seats and that they were in properly; rear racing to their standard.

    Getting in the car was surreal; I couldn't stop looking away from them as Chase drove and when we got to bring them home, to hold them in their nursery... well that was a magical moment. We were officially home and parents of healthy twins.
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